The Curious Case of Tom
by Sorcha Cullen
Summary: Written for the Glam Kink prompt on LJ "Tommy turns into an actual cat. Nobody notices." After a night out with Adam, Tommy Joe thinks it'd be cool to be a cat. Careful what you wish for, Tommy. ::Total Crack! Adam Lambert   Tommy Joe Ratliff ::Language


AN:

Hey, everyone! A new story? *Gasp* naughty me, I know… but in my defense, I was trolling over on the Glam_Kink prompt comm on LJ and I saw this prompt and the bunny went for my jugular! I couldn't resist! No, it's not Adommy. No relationships in this here fic! It's just pure CRACK! So, grab your pipes and toke up, cause you'll be laughing your asses off! (I know I did xD)

I hope I did this prompt justice, I know it's not EXACTLY to the prompt, but I went with where my insanity took me. Hope you love it!

*TCCoT*

"I can't believe you'd never seen Cats, I mean, what the fuck?" Adam giggled, as we left the theatre after seeing the said musical.

I shook my blond fringe. "I dunno, man, wasn't my thing? But, you were right, it _was _pretty entertaining. Who doesn't love cats?"

"Neil. But then again, he doesn't like much," he snorted.

"Well, I think they're quite adorable…and cuddly. They live the sweet life." Adam shot me an incredulous look. "I'm serious, dude, haven't you ever thought about how _awesome_ it would be, to be a cat? They sleep all day, slink around suspiciously…"

"Tommy, baby, you're scaring me," Adam laughed, as the valet pulled up with the black Mustang.

I punched him in the arm playfully. "Fuck you, Lambert." I stuck my tongue out. "That Tugger cat was pretty awesome, if I had one, I'd name it after him."

Adam laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

When we entered the hotel, the exhausting day caught up with me. "My bed is calling me, I'll see you in the morning, dude."

"Night, Tommy."

*TCCoT*

I heard my phone ring and refused to get it. I was having a nice dream, thank you, and didn't want to wake up yet. I shifted to roll over, and found myself tangled in the covers.

No – I was being _smothered_ by them. How had I gotten underneath them so far? Usually I just kicked them off in my sleep.

I tried to grab them to pull myself out, but couldn't get a proper hold on them, my hands kept slipping.

What the fuck was going on!

I grunted, but it came out more like a mew.

_Mew?_

I must have been dreaming about the show last night. _Stupid cats getting into my head_. Still, that was really fucking weird.

"Tommy, you in there?" a voice came from the door.

It was Adam. Shit, what time was it?

I opened my mouth to shout, "I'm in here, shut the hell up!" But again, it sounded more like "Merrrrorwwwwwwwrrrrrrr!"

I brought my hand up to my face, only to feel a furry paw with very sharp claws. That made me jump in the air, spooking the shit out of me.

This was _not_ happening.

Pounding at the door. "Tommy, I hear something, don't make me use my spare room key."

"MEEOOOWWWWW!" Was all I could offer. Oh fuck, what would they do when they found me? Something flickered in my peripherals, and my head whipped towards it, finding a black furry tail.

What fresh hell was this? I know I'd said how awesome it would be, to be a cat, but I wasn't actually _serious_!

The tail –my tail– twitched again and I pounced, rolling off the bed in a loud thump, sprawling on my back. This was just a touch on the freaky scale, and not the good kind.

I heard the door rattle, signaling Adam's entrance, and I flipped over, padding on my four paws towards the door. It was a slow process, getting used to four legs was a whole different animal.

Pun _not_ intended.

The door opened and Adam's face poked in, scanning the room and missing me completely.

"Tommy Joe, where are you?" He stepped in and I lunged at him, biting at his pant legs and attaching my claws in them. "What the fuck? A cat?"

He bent down to extricate me from ruining his designer jeans and held me to his face, a look of concern deepening his features. "Mrow?"

His face melted. "Aww, you're so cute!" He cuddled me close, scratching me behind the ears and under my chin, causing me to purr.

_I can purr!_

"As cute as you are though, where'd he get you and where is he?" To which I replied a long mew, as he walked us into the bathroom, maybe seeing if I was in there.

_I'm in your arms, idiot!_

I caught myself in the mirror and hissed. I was cream colored, with a black stripe from my forehead, all the way down my back and ending with my tail. I also had a black patch on my right cheek to reflect the fringe I'd had as a human.

Comedy; the universe had a fucked up version of it.

"Whoa, there, it's just your reflection." He pet me some more as we walked back to the bed and I turned in his arms to bat at his face.

_No shit, Sherlock!_

"Fuck, not the face!" He glared, "You are gonna learn some manners, young…" he held me up, likely checking my gender, and his eyes widened, "man." This was _not_ how I'd intended him to see my junk, but I was proud that I still had my heft. "You remind me of Rum Tum Tugger, and I remember Tommy saying he'd name his first cat that."

He looked me over, squinting his eyes in thought. "Funny how you have his hair markings, it's like it was meant to be! I think I'll call you Tugger!"

I growled, not at the name, but at the fact that I _was –_no _am_ Tommy. I swiped at him again, hissing, and he dropped me on the bed. I flicked my tail, stretching, before walking onto his lap and putting my front paws on his chest to stare into his eyes. "Prrrrt?"

"I dunno where he is, either, boy." He thought he'd answered me, pulling out his phone to call someone. Next thing we knew, his ringtone blared from on top of the dresser. "That's…odd…Tommy wouldn't just leave without letting us know."

I started to yowl at him, telling him off for not getting the fact that human me disappeared and a cat was here in his place.

Earth to dumbass.

"Fuck, you're loud. Do you need food? Water?" he picked me up and walked out of the room, turning towards Monte's and knocking on his door.

The door opened abruptly. "What? Oh, hey, Adam. What's with the cat?"

"I went looking for Tommy and found this little thing in his room instead. I named him Tugger." He smiled stupidly, holding me out for Monte to look at.

I hissed and yowled at him, clawing at him. "Well he certainly has the personality of Tommy… and his looks…" Monte trailed off frowning.

"Oh… my… god…" Adam spoke in a shocked whisper. "No, it couldn't…"

The guitarist looked up. "Couldn't _what_, Adam?"

"Last night, after the show… Tommy mentioned how cool it'd be, to be a cat." He looked down at me, in the eyes. "Tommy? Is that you?"

I mewed and pawed softly at his face this time.

Monte put me down on the floor. "Ok, if this is Tommy and he can understand humans… run away and come back."

What was this shit? I mean, any cat could do this and fuck with them…right? I figured I should do it anyway, running down the hallway and back, hearing shocked gasps in response. "Prrrrrrrooowww?"

This was getting to be too much, and I was fucking bored.

"Yeah, definitely him." Monte knelt down to pick me up and I unleashed my claws, just for the fuck of it. "Shit, Tommy! What the hell did I do?"

Adam giggled. "He's probably tired of being under the microscope." He stepped closer to run a hand over my fur, before taking me from Monte's arms. "How'd you do it, Tommy?"

"Meeerrrrrrroooooooorrrrrrr" _Did he honestly fucking think I could speak English_? Like I fucking knew to begin with, I woke up like this!

Monte laughed. "Well _that_ answers it quite well." Both Adam and I glared at him. "Sorry, just trying to make light of this insanity. _Shit, _Tommy, you're a fuckin' cat!"

_Noooo… Really? I hadn't noticed!_

Adam sighed. "Well, we need to figure out how to change him back, before anyone notices."

"Like they won't notice Tommy's missing?" Monte quirked an eyebrow.

I wanted to laugh at the whole situation. If it were anyone else, this would be fucking hilarious.

I wasn't laughing, though.

"Well, let's get to the rehearsal, I guess we'll have to cancel the show." Adam started trudging toward the elevators, Monte following behind. "I'll come up with something."

*TCCoT*

"Hey, boys!" Sasha greeted, she was crouching on the steps that she crawls down after Adam during Voodoo. "What's with the cat?"

Adam halted abruptly, nearly dropping me and I dug my claws into the available skin, causing him to actually drop me. "Merrrrooooowwwwwww."

Thank god I landed on my feet. Point number one for being a cat.

_Asshole._

"Oh shit, sorry… Tom-Tugger!" He bent down to scratch my ears and I bit him. "Fuck! Oh you just wait, you little fucker, I'll get you back."

"Whoa, hey, it's just a cat, Adam!" Sasha defended, picking me up and smooshing me to her boobs.

Another point for being a cat.

_Score!_

"He seems to like girls better, I think," Monte piped up, laughing and Adam glared at him.

Damn _straight_ I love girls more! "Mewwww!" I started to purr in Sash's arms.

"Aww, well if he isn't the cutest little kitty _ever_! Well, not as cute as Tommy, who… " she held me out to look at me, "wow, he looks an awful lot like Tommy boy... hey, where _is_ Tommy?"

Adam cleared his throat. "He had to fly home, family emergency or something."

I was thankful that Adam was such a great actor, because Sash actually believed him. "Oh, shit! He couldn't tell us? I've been texting him all day."

"He left his shit here, 'cause he'll be back soon. Guess he forgot his phone." Monte joined in.

Guess that could be plausible.

"Oh… well I hope all goes fine for him. Does that mean we'll have to cancel?" She put me back down on the floor, and I rubbed up on her.

Adam nodded. "Yeah, I think so, we don't have a backup for Tommy, ya know? But we should still practice."

"That sucks." She looked from Adam, down to me. "What's his name?"

Adam laughed. "So easily distracted, Sash. His name's Tugger, like, from Cats."

"That's perfect!" She squealed, and I strutted my stuff towards the center of the stage to roll around.

This was actually kind of cool, but I missed my bass. I walked over toward it and rubbed my scent all over it, purring and mewing and I got a cool idea.

I let my claws out and started picking at the thick metal strings, the sound resonating out into the theatre.

Fucking sweet!

"Hey, get away from there!" One of our roadies came shooing me away and I hissed.

_My bass, damnit!_

Monte came over, picking me up and halting the situation, whispering in my ear. "Be cool, Tommy, alright? We'll figure this out."

He sat me down by his case and got his guitar out, tuning it, before he walked over to start the opening of the show. Wow, the sound was so _loud_ to my sensitive ears and it startled me back a few steps into Monte's guitar case.

_Fuck! _I'd go deaf, I was sure of it!

What I didn't realize, was that the case was up against one of the monitors. The vibrations from the sound shook the case violently, until it shut, closing me in darkness, before I could react.

_Oh, shit! No one will find me!_

Fuckfuckfuckfuck, I'd be in here _forever!_

I gasped, thrashing and sitting up in my bed, checking my surroundings and my body.

It was just a dream, a fucking _nightmare. _Oh, thank fuck.

I flopped back down on my pillow and heaved a sigh of relief, before someone was knocking on my door. "Tommy Joe Ratliff, are you in there?"

Adam.

This was just a little too much.

I cleared my throat, checking my voice, before answering. "Yeah, I'm in here."

I heard the familiar rustling of his key in the door, before it opened and he walked in. "You're late to practice. Maybe I shouldn't have taken you out last night." He smirked, sitting down next to me.

I smirked back. "Yeah? Well after the dream I just had, I don't wanna ever see a cat _ever again._"

AN:

Laughing? xD Told you it was cracky!

Troll me on twitter! xGlitterBabyx


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